Until fairly recently I haven’t truly opened up about having graves’ disease/ hyperthyroidism. I talked about it here and there but I never fully embraced it as a part of my new normal. I am normally such an open person, so why so quiet about this subject? Denial. When I first found out the doctor said it could just be postpartum hyperthyroidism and not an autoimmune disease although he did say it looked like graves’. I clung to the possibility of it being temporary and one day waking up to everything being normal again.
This year graves was confirmed and after allowing myself a moment to process I decided to embrace it and make something of it. To talk about my experience and connect with others who are also experiencing the same things or with those who just want to know more.
HOW I FOUND OUT
I was about 4 months postpartum when I found out and I honestly don’t know how long I had been dealing with hyperthyroidism before this because being postpartum your body and hormones are so off from the usual for about the first year. I was losing a ton of hair which I contributed to postpartum hair loss, I was itchy all the time which I thought was just from my gallbladder ( which eventually had to be removed) and my largest symptom was being anxious paired with a high heart rate/ heart palpitations. I was a new mom with little sleep and a lot of caffeine in my system. One night I was laying with Emma and I noticed my heart was pounding, I checked my watch and my resting heart rate was 160. I knew something wasn’t right so I called my friend and she took Emma and I to the hospital. I was there for about 5 hours being monitored and was given propranolol to try to bring my heart rate down and finally when my blood work came back hyperthyroidism was confirmed. I’ll be honest when I tell you I had no idea what that meant.
Once I was home I made an urgent appointment with the endo and I freaked myself out by researching hyperthyroidism. It can be a really scary disease to have especially when untreated. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to because nobody I knew had been in this situation before which made it even scarier.
HOW I REACTED
This may sound overdramatic but for the first week after being diagnosed I cried at least once daily. I was on propranolol for my heart rate which was scary to me, I was testing out new medication and I was alone all day with my baby. I was so afraid something would happen to me and Emma would be all alone without anyone to help her. You guys google and web MD were not my friends.
I prayed a lot during this time too, I know everything happens for a reason and I know god has control so I gave it to him and I prayed. I was scared and it’s okay to be scared but I knew I had to start living my life and try to be myself again. I didn’t want to allow myself to become obsessed or depressed when all I could do was my best and that meant something. Having a positive mindset didn’t happen overnight but slowly I started becoming myself again, slowly I wasn’t as afraid anymore.
HAT WAS THE RESULT
It took 3 months of medication to get my numbers close enough in range so I could finally stop propranolol. This was a huge step because that was a medication I really hated being on. By January of the new year I was just finally getting to a point where my numbers were almost in range and I was feeling myself again. On the downside, I gained 20 pounds being on the medication since it slows your metabolism down but I felt good.
Surprise, we found out we were pregnant again. I was honestly shocked that we managed to get pregnant and I was scared because I knew the risks but again I gave it to god and knew what he willed would be. Thankfully enough I am 23 weeks In and have had a good pregnancy, baby is kicking and measuring large, which is good. I have managed to stay off of the medication and my numbers / antibodies have remained stable which is all I could ask.
My journey isn’t over yet, and it is about to change all over again through my pregnancy and postpartum but I feel prepared to tackle what comes my way and I will take you guys along the ride.
If anyone ever has questions for me or feels like they need to talk, I will always be here. Things like this are scary enough, you don’t need to feel alone while you’re going through it.
Taylor
